Resistance Is the Road: What I Don’t Want to Do Is Exactly What I Need

Why is it that the thing we resist most… is usually the thing we need most?

In this episode, I reflect on Day 9 of my 75-Day Soft Challenge and the moment I almost hit pause, just because I was “off” from work. That tiny urge to delay revealed something much deeper: the way my brain associates postponement with protection.

Through years of journaling and self-observation, I’ve learned that my resistance often points to the exact path I need to walk. And it’s not about hustle. It’s about healing. This episode is for anyone who’s ever sabotaged their own progress out of fear, perfectionism, or discomfort.

🎧 Tune in to discover what your own resistance might be trying to teach you and how to stop mistaking fear for wisdom.

📚 And if you’re ready for a haunting, magical story about reclaiming identity and breaking generational patterns, preorder my debut novel The Ordinary Bruja—available now at https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Have a Cup of Johnny
• 1:08 Morning Resistance to My 75-Day Challenge
• 4:08 Postponement as False Protection
• 8:55 Learning to Play the Long Game
• 14:25 Resistance is the Assignment
• 16:55 Reflections and Invitation to Connect

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh we could, we could fly. Welcome back to have a Cup of Johnny. This season isn't about hustling harder. It's about coming home to yourself, to your voice, to your breath, to the quiet truth that you're still here and you're not starting over. You're starting again. This is your space to reflect, reset and remember who, to tell you why. So pour your cafecito and let's begin.

Speaker 2: 0:37

Hey friends, and welcome back to have a Cup of Johnny podcast. Have a Cup of Johnny podcast. This is a very early recording for me and you all are in for a treat because this is a very fresh reflection that I have had. So the month of August is lessons learned during my year of being 43 years old. August is my birthday month and I celebrate, with big or small celebrations, the entire month, because I see not just my birthday but everyone's birthday as a perfect celebration to have, because I think of it as a very special day that all the stars needed to be aligned in just the right way for this person to come into this world and to be the person that they are. So for me, birthdays are special, so that's why I do that. I celebrate it all month long, celebrated all month long, and because of that, I wanted to have this theme during the month of August here in the year of our Lord, 2025. And this fresh thought reflection that I had happened this very morning. I woke up not too long ago. You may hear it in my voice. Nevertheless, it's day nine of my 75-day soft joa challenge and you've heard me talk about it in social media. This is a hybrid or modification of the 75-day hard challenge that you may see over there. Some are fitness-centric, others, like the ones that I've seen, are writing or authorship-centric or content creation-centric, and I modified mine, of course, to be more about what can propel me forward. So it's joa-centric, which is why I call it the 75-day soft joa challenge.

Speaker 2: 2:46

But today I got a confession to make with you all. I didn't want to get up this morning, not in a lazy way, not even in an I need more sleep kind of way. But my first thought, before I even fully opened my eyes, was how am I supposed to keep doing this challenge when I'm off from work? I took four days off from work so that way I can fully celebrate my actual birthday, and I love it. I love it. I came back to my home in El Paso. You know I'm here, I'm recording from here. This is my safe space, my haven, so I love it. But I woke up thinking that, like, how am I supposed to keep doing this challenge when I'm off from work? Followed quickly, very quickly, by can I just pause it? Now, old me would have taken that thought and run with it like run with it Pause, rationalize it away, delayed, but instead this time I got curious because I've learned something through a lot of journaling and painful self-honesty, and that is that which I resist the most is usually what I most need to do. It was painful to even say it out loud. But let's talk about resistance.

Speaker 2: 4:21

I've noticed this pattern in myself over and over again and you've heard me say that I am a recovering procrastinator, because early on in my late 20s and early 30s I figured out that this is something that will be a work in progress for me, something that I will continue to battle and tackle, that it will never like freely or truly go away from my psyche. So that's why I say like I'm a recovering procrastinator, because I'm always battling that pause, that postponement. Nevertheless, you know, I've noticed this pattern that whenever I start to dread something, push against it or find myself inventing excuses. That's a complete red flag, and not because I'm lazy or incapable of doing the thing, but because my brain has been wired to see postponement as protection. And that goes to rejection, trauma and not having adults around me that I could count on. So I had to do a lot of things myself. I'm hyper independent and things of that nature. So I understand the origin of why I am the way that I am and I cannot delete my past, but I can move forward with new tools so that way I can be a better version of myself, regardless of what happened in my past. So that's why I journal a lot, I take pauses and have been doing a lot of introspective kind of work within myself because of things like this, of the actions that I do, because of what happened in the past.

Speaker 2: 6:16

But now that I've gradually become more self-aware since I started working on myself in my early 30s, really all the way up until now, and that is something that I know about myself that because my brain has been wired to see postponement as protection, I do these kind of things. I tell myself if I wait to start, I can't fail. If I don't finish, I won't be judged, if I delay I stay safe. Except, I'm not really safe. Am I? What I really am is stuck, and that's the self-aware part of me coming in and really dissecting these thoughts that I have and correcting those thoughts. You see, and that's the difference, because postponement might shield me from temporary discomfort. I mean that is very true. Me from temporary discomfort. I mean that is very true, it does shield me from temporary discomfort in the moment. It makes me feel good, right, but then it brings anxiety. I know that. But the most egregious thing that postponement does for me is that it robs me of my long-term growth.

Speaker 2: 7:38

And very recently, yesterday, I was watching Busy Blooming, one of their podcast episodes. I love it, it motivates me, so I've been watching it quite a lot for the past week, so happy I stumbled upon it. Highly recommend it, especially if you're into content creation and things of that nature, if you just want a nice pep talk and seeing someone flourish and someone doing things and still taking care of themselves. Not doing things for the sake of burnout, but doing things while still taking care of their whole mind, body and soul. Watch Busy Blooming whole mind, body and soul.

Speaker 2: 8:22

I watched Busy Blooming and she says something in there that hit me. I noticed the emotions kind of pulsing starting in my chest and I knew that something was there. So of course you know I have to think about it and all of that. But what she said was I've always known how to play the long game, something to that. But I know she said long game. I was like huh, I was like how good you know of her to have had this ability to be able to play the long game. That's to me. I find that to be rare. But I find it rare because I haven't had that ability to play the long game.

Speaker 2: 9:07

For most of my life I've been playing the survival game. What can I do now to survive the moment? And I've been stuck in that. It's kind of like I equate it to the mind living paycheck to paycheck, you know, as opposed to putting something away for later. That's what I equate it to, and hearing her say that pushed me to think about that and to think how I haven't been playing the long game, but how I could play the long game, you know, because, once again, like I acknowledge my past, I acknowledge what it did, what it may have robbed me of back then, but I also know that I'm very capable, you know, of turning things around as I have proven myself to do, you know, and I'm also very capable of crafting a future that is completely not aligned with how I grew up with, a future that is what I envision myself in, being my best self. I'm also very aware that I'm capable of doing that. So when I heard her say that I was very happy that she's capable of doing that, but it also challenged me to work on myself so that way I am able to also play the long game.

Speaker 2: 10:28

And when I had this thought today, that phrase got into my head. And it's so weird how I put things together through memory and experience. And I hate to divert from this conversation, but I want you all to read my books and read the Ordinary Bruja, because this is very much how I craft my characters. You see them coming up with things and how they come up with and it's very much the same way that I'm explaining here, through memory, experience and something that pushed them, something that they encounter, a phrase, a smell, something that kind of challenged them. And to me that challenge was I've always known how to play the long game.

Speaker 2: 11:16

That phrase that I heard in the Busy Blooming podcast was and then that stayed in the back of my mind is fresh first thing in the morning I'm a morning person. That phrase, it was like a puzzle. It got into the groove along with that thought and then along with the last piece of the puzzle, which was my awareness, bringing it all together and I was able to understand that for me to play the long game, I have to combat those thoughts of postponement. You know, for me to play the long game, I got to make sure and be very aware, very cognizant of when these thoughts come into my head to prod me, prop me, entice me to postpone something. And I'm glad I rationalized it this morning in a logical manner and I was like wait a minute, joah, when something is good for you, you tend to postpone it. So just knowing that you want to postpone this, that should let you know that this is something that you must do. That is very important for your self-growth and I think for me that's the answer.

Speaker 2: 13:09

The answer For me to start playing the long game is to do the thing that I want to postpone, do the thing that I dread the most, because that which I dread is something that is good for me, is something that I need to do. You see, and it's very pervasive, this resistance, it bubbled up, it was like a voice telling me you don't have to do the challenge today. No one will know, you deserve a break. It's enticing, it is so enticing. It is almost like have y'all watched Sandman? Sandman, watch Sandman and then desire, desire, yeah, that's. That's kind of like how it manifests inside my head, kind of like that, oh, that voice that, just like you deserve a break, joanne, you deserve to postpone this. No one will know. Go ahead and do it, but I knew better. Go ahead and do it, but I knew better. Thankfully, I knew better. Thankfully I have become self-aware enough and have grown enough to know better and I was able to turn that around this morning because I understood that this wasn't about rest, that it was about sabotage, dressed in self-care clothing.

Speaker 2: 14:27

And now the 75 Days Soft Challenge, or I should say the 75 Days Soft Joa Challenge, isn't about doing things perfectly not at all. I already took that off of that plate. It's about showing up for myself gently and consistently, and the truth is I struggle with consistency. It's about showing up for myself gently and consistently, and the truth is I struggle with consistency, and not because I don't care, but because there is a part of me that's still afraid of what happens if I actually follow through, what happens if I finish the draft, if I stick to the routine, if I succeed, because then there are expectations and visibility and potential rejection that naturally come through all of this. So I pause or pivot or perfect, but I'm learning to catch that urge in the moment and push through instead of away from it. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 15:31

This morning I told myself the resistance is the assignment. That's how you play the long game, joa. So I got up, brushed my teeth, drank my water, took my vitamins, moved my body, did my grateful journaling and chose myself. Because you know what, in the days that I'm off, it is even more important for me to follow my routine, because it brings me freedom, it brings me peace, it brings me the structure that I need to tackle everything, even if it is just tackling celebration or tackling a mall outing or tackling a hike.

Speaker 2: 16:25

So let me ask you this, besos what are you resisting right now? Is there something in your life you've been putting off, not because it doesn't matter, but because it matters so much that it scares you? What's the one thing you've told yourself you'll do when the time is just right? And what if the resistance isn't a stop sign, but a signal, a flashlight pointing toward the next version of you waiting to emerge? Think about that.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Hey, I want to thank you all for sitting with me today. This was a little rough for me. It was hard to admit. It's the kind of honesty that is needed, but I still feel rough around the edges when I have to let it out of my mouth. So I want to thank you for being here with me. This challenge, this soft joa challenge, is teaching me hard truths, but I'm here for it because I'm tired of getting in my own way, and if you're walking through this too, I hope today's episode reminds you that you're not alone, that resistance is normal and it's also beatable. I'd love to hear from you. What are you resisting? Tag me or send me a message at haveacupofjoannie on Instagram or threads On TikTok. It's a little different. It's a cup of joe, underscore h-a-n-n-y. And hey, if you're craving a story that reflects this very journey of reclaiming power and pushing past fear, pre-order the Ordinary Bruja at haveacupofjoanniecom, because fiction can be a mirror too. Until next time, stay soft, stay ready and, as always, let's have a cup Bye.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Have a cup of Johannycom for more stories, blog posts and the books that started it all. Thank you for being here. Until next time, be soft, be bold and always have a cup of Johanny.