The Art of Returning to Self

What if the key to moving forward was actually going back—to the routines, the rituals, the habits that once grounded you?

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share how 43 taught me the power of structure, and why “winging it” wasn’t the freedom I thought it was. From journaling to morning rituals, from tracking my water intake to honoring my body's needs, I relearned the importance of showing up for myself on purpose.

This is a love letter to anyone who’s ever felt lost in the chaos and is ready to come home to themselves.

✨ Whether you're rebuilding after burnout or simply craving more alignment, this episode invites you to reflect on what actually works for you.

🎧 Grab your favorite drink and listen in.

📚 And if you're drawn to stories about identity, ancestral magic, and self-discovery, don’t forget to preorder my upcoming novel, The Ordinary Bruja, a haunting, heartfelt journey of a woman reclaiming her power.

Available now at https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Have a Cup of Johnny
• 1:30 The Lie of Winging It
• 3:45 Structure as Freedom, Not Restriction
• 7:29 Finding Your Grounding Habits
• 10:23 Birthday Month Invitation and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh we could, we could fly. Welcome back to have a Cup of Johnny. This season isn't about hustling harder. It's about coming home to yourself, to your voice, to your breath, to the quiet truth that you're still here and you're not starting over. You're starting again. This is your space to reflect, reset and remember who we tell you. So pour your cafecito and let's begin. Hello everyone and welcome back to Habacucbo Johnny, the podcast, where we sip truth and spill stories.

Speaker 1: 0:46

And since it's August, my birthday month, I am dedicating this entire month to lessons I learned while I was 43. Let's call it 43 and becoming me, because this year it gave it stripped and it taught a lot. Today's episode, I am calling it, unless I change it, the art of returning to self, but I gotta warn you, it's not as graceful as it sounds. Y'all ready? Let's get it.

Speaker 1: 1:31

There's a lie. I sometimes tell myself that I can wing it, that I've been through enough, lived enough, figured it out enough to just freestyle my way through the hard stuff. I don't know why I continue to tell myself this lie. I don't know why I have proven this lie to be wrong so many times. I don't know why I continue to tell myself and it upsets me, to be honest with you, that I still believe it, because this past year it reminded me once again that returning to myself means returning to what works, and for me, what works is structure. It's not winging it. It's not winging it. It's not the rigid kind, okay, it's not that one, the one that leaves no room for breath, but it's the kind, though, that holds me steady when the chaos around me starts to creep in. That's the one that I need. It's the kind that reminds me who I am when everything else tries to tell me I am not enough. It's that grounding kind of structure. That's what I'm talking about here, and this year I realized, actually accepted hopefully you don't hear me saying this again that I need my morning routine. I benefit from knowing what I'm doing with my time. I feel better when I journal, even if it's just three sentences. I feel grounded when I write down what I eat, how much water I drank, how many steps I took. To some it may be like that's a lot, but to me it's not. It's not pedantic, it's not obsessive. It's me showing up for myself in ways that no one else can, and it is something about doing that that just keeps me grounded, it kind of like guides my way every day.

Speaker 1: 3:48

When I wasn't doing that for oh, so many months this year, I felt so lost. I wasn't journaling, I wasn't walking, I wasn't tracking anything, I was just waking like back in the day and just hoping the day would sort itself out. And it was almost like I was back in my 20s and in my 30s and I'm like, oh, why am I going back there, you know where everything is so chaotic? And that's how it felt, you know, because of course the day is not going to sort itself out. Of course I felt tired, disoriented. My anxiety just came back, swinging harder than before. My health started slipping back, swinging harder than before my health started slipping. But most of all, I felt disconnected from my body, from my creativity, from myself, and everything just seemed so hard to do because I wasn't running on this structure that kept my flow going, when I could wake up and know, okay, this hour is for fitness, for moving, hey, this other hour is for writing, hey, this other bit of minutes is from journaling, this one is for meditating. It's something about that structure that gives me a sense of peace, like I said before it just it guides my steps throughout the day, because when I'm able to accomplish my most important things, which are those habits, those tasks that I have at the beginning, at the very beginning of my day I don't know how else to explain to people, but it sets me up for everything else that that day has to offer. It just does, you know, when my bullet journal is set.

Speaker 1: 5:43

I have already looked at my day the night before. You know, I have jotted down what I woke up being anxious about the thoughts in my head. I jotted down the grateful things, the three grateful things I am grateful for. It's almost like I'm fueling myself, you see, at the beginning of the day, so that way I can just open that door and I take off from there. And I'm not saying that I have perfect days because of it, but I am ready to take it on. I think that's like the best way that I can explain it.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Most of the time I'm not reactive to things. You see what I'm saying. I'm not running on empty, or it's just it's smooth. It's not easy, it's just it's smooth. So that's what that structure gives me. But the thing is that being in the military and moving and having these various things in my life that just kind of throw wrenches in my cycle, in my rhythm, for bouts of time. This time it just two back-to-back things happened that it just like it threw me off for like three months. And it's hard when you're out of the game. Quote unquote of habit Sustaining for three months is hard.

Speaker 1: 7:06

It's almost like I have to start from the beginning. And here I am starting again. And I started with a fresh bullet journal because I wasn't going to wait for the last five pages of the other journal. I was like, fuck it, I'm going to start with a new journal and something about starting fresh with a new journal and putting my habit tracker there and then starting the 75 day Joesoft challenge. That has like gotten me back there again, not to where I used to be before, but like getting there, back to what I know always helps, which is back to writing things down, back to those quiet, intentional moments where I meditate and slow everything down, back to checking in with myself like I was someone worth checking on.

Speaker 1: 7:57

And the wild part is that return didn't make me feel restricted. And I know people hear structure, people hear schedules and they may hear everything but free, but for me. That's how it feels to have that structure. I feel free, I don't feel restricted, with certainty that those things are there for me to do first thing in the morning and then from there, just my day will open up. You know, that makes me feel at peace, free and prepared, because when I'm taking care of myself, I'm not distracted by that panic of neglect, I'm not catching up with myself after I've burnt out. I'm ahead of the fall. I'm watching it all unfold with me, not against me. So, no, I cannot wing it. I cannot wing it, not all the time, emergency purposes only. But I cannot wing it, not all the time, emergency purposes only. But I cannot wing it, not when I want to stay rooted.

Speaker 1: 9:15

And I want to ask you all what is that one thing, or those habits, or those tasks that you must do in order to feel like yourself, in order to feel grounded, to feel at peace, to feel like you're ready to take on your day? What are those? And then, what happens when you don't do those? Because that, for me, was a good chunk of this year. When I say this year, I'm not talking calendar year, I'm talking about my year as a 43-year-old, now that I'm in my birthday month, about to be 44. So how was that for you? What are those things that just ground you, put you at peace, give you that structure, that freedom If it's not structure, maybe that freedom that you need. And what happened when you stopped doing them, if you did stop doing them?

Speaker 1: 10:17

Nevertheless, thank you so much for sitting with me on this very short episode of the have a Couple Johnny podcast. I'm gonna keep it short and cute on my birthday month because I wanna go and celebrate. Okay, I also want y'all to go and celebrate. Okay, I also want you all to go and celebrate. Okay, go and have fun. Hopefully you all will listen to me on the go or whatnot, but go and have fun. Go, do something that gives you that sense of freedom, whatever that is. Go ahead and do that today. And if this episode landed for you, I'd love to hear.

Speaker 1: 10:49

Once again, don't forget how you return to yourself. Tag me or DM me. You know where I'm at on Instagram at haveacupofjoannie, or on TikTok at acupofjoe, underscore H-A-N-N-Y. Find me there. Next week we are diving into what my body taught me at 43. Oof, that is a doozy. Be ready for that one, because this body of mine. She stopped whispering and then she screamed All right, talk to you all next Wednesday. Bye, if today's episode spoke to you, share with somebody who's finding their way back too, and if you haven't yet, visit haveacupofjoanniecom for more stories, blog posts and the bits that started it all. Thank you for being here. Until next time, be soft, be bold and always have a cup of John.