Letters to John: Finding Solace and Connection in Grief

Have you ever found yourself yearning to communicate with a loved one who has passed away? I discovered an unconventional yet transformative way to process grief: writing letters to my departed fur baby, John. In this heartfelt episode of "Have a Cup of Johanny," I share how this simple practice has become a bridge between my world and the cherished memories of my beloved pet. Listen as I recount touching anecdotes and hilarious incidents, like the time John hilariously swiped pizza right from my stepdaughter's fingers—a moment so vivid it continues to bring a smile to my face. These small acts of remembrance have not only allowed me to honor John's life but also provided a sense of peace and continued connection.

Through the art of letter writing, I've found solace in the midst of sorrow and discovered a way to keep the spirit of my furry companion alive in my heart. This episode builds upon previous discussions about meditation and celebrating the lives of our pets by offering a unique perspective on navigating grief. Whether you're a fellow fur parent or someone seeking comfort after a loss, join me on this journey of growth and personal discovery. Together, we'll explore how simple notes capturing everyday moments can help us cherish and celebrate the lives we've loved and lost, providing comfort and healing along the way.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh we could, we could fly. Welcome to this new season of the have a cup of johanni podcast. So I want to title this new season that I'm embarking on with I'm growing, so this is going to be the season of growth and that's what I'm going to share with you throughout the season. So I thank you for coming over here and sitting with me and I hope you enjoy. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to have a Couple Johnny podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Today's episode is about a practice that has brought me a lot of comfort in the midst of grief, and this is in addition to the last episode where we talked about meditation, and then the one before that where I talked about how I honor my fur babies by sharing their stories and celebrating their lives and the moments that we shared together. This one, we're talking about writing letters or notes to the ones that we've lost. It's been an unorthodox way to process my emotions, but one that has helped me, and I hope that this can resonate with some of you. Are you ready? I know you would be All right, let's go. When I lost my fur babies, particularly John, I realized that there was so much that I wanted to say to them. I'm one of those fur parents that talk to their fur babies as if they can understand. So if you are one of those people like me, this may work for you. I started writing notes to John after he passed away and it felt like super strange at first, but it's just once again.

Speaker 1: 2:15

For me, the feeling of grief is very heavy Y me tengo que desahogar. I have to undrown myself one way or another. And because I like to write, I tend to cope through writing. So I do journaling, I do things of that nature, I write poetry. I just have to write things down so that way I can cope with the emotions and then the heaviness of it all. And while it felt strange at the beginning, I quickly realized that it was a way for me to stay connected with him after he passed. Yeah, it was weird, but then I kind of understood what I was trying to do and why I was trying to do it.

Speaker 1: 3:01

And I started just by simply catching myself when I would think about him. I remember I think the first one was like hey, john, today I saw a dog that looked like you and I cried and it was just like that, like something you know. Hey, john, today I went by your favorite food at the grocery store and I thought of you. It's just those small anecdotes of things that happened in my life that I share with my pet, who has passed. That in a way honors them, but in a way also helps me to feel as if I am still connected to them and in a way also helps me to gain a sense of peace Through those small notes.

Speaker 1: 3:56

I was staying close to them and over time I found myself writing more than just those anecdotes and I ended up writing more about our time together, the quirks that they showed, the incidents, the funny incidents that happened with them. That happened with them. For example, I had to write down how John stole my stepdaughter's pizza one time because she was talking and talking and talking she's very talkative and was not paying attention to the pizzas that she had and John so short he's, such a shorty he was I'm sorry he was such a shorty, but he could jump and he jumped and he got that pizza clean off of her fingers, didn't even touch her fingers, oh God. And just like boom and just like boom, and the shock in my stepdaughter's face was like something that I still remember. And john, nowhere to be seen the little yellow, yellow furball just darted out of sight with that pizza and swallowed that pizza whole. Oh god, that peeks a hole, oh God. So I had to write that moment down. And then I remember, like, after writing that moment down, you know how, like when you think about things and then you go out and you start seeing more of that. Well, that's what happened.

Speaker 1: 5:44

I wrote that moment and I went out I think it was to Marshall's and I go through the house thing I love Marshall's for house decorations and there's a picture. It's not a corgi dog, but it is a yellow dog that looks like a lab dog and and it has a pizza on its mouth. And I'm like I looked over and I'm like I called for my husband and I'm like are you thinking what I'm thinking? And both of us nodded, you know, because we were both there in that moment and that was priceless. So not only have we lived the moment while John was alive and that happened, but in that aisle, there in the store, him and I relived that moment together.

Speaker 1: 6:40

We was able to kind of like talk story about a loss that we have in common, right, that being that we have in common, which is John and things like that just makes the grief feel a whole lot lighter, because, you know, at that point, when it came to John and grieving him, it was still heavy. But those things writing those anecdotes, writing notes to him, and then seeing that portrait and buying it and putting it right here as decoration in my house that I can see it it helps me to feel close to John and writing these letters have become a part of my healing process and I see myself doing that with Lentil. Unfortunately, it's so heavy right now that I'm just trying to muddle through just my emotions before I can even write those anecdotes, because I found that I got to work on awareness of my emotions through meditation first, when the loss first happened, and noting those downs and being okay with them being there, before I can write notes, cheerful notes, cheerful anecdotes and things of that nature, just because I need to feel sad first. I need to feel that because that's like accepting that the loss happened, the loss is there and that's how I felt all day yesterday, where it's just like food tasted like cardboard, like it was on season, but I just wanted to curl up and then just be sad. Just be sad and that's okay. It's okay to have those sad days, and that was yesterday. Yesterday was my sad day and I know for Lento, eventually, a week, a month from now, I'll write those letters, because writing those notes to those we've lost, whether they're pets or family members or friends, can be incredibly therapeutic, another way to honor their memory and to keep that connection alive and to allow yourself to feel the emotions without judgment.

Speaker 1: 9:19

And for me, the notes to John was a way to commune with him and to process my grief, and it doesn't take the pain away. On the same token, I can't do it right after the loss. I have to give myself time to be sad before I can write those notes. But once I do, it does help me to carry the loss and the grief a little bit easier.

Speaker 1: 9:48

So if you're listening and you have someone you lost, I encourage you to try writing to them, either write notes or write letters. It doesn't have to be formal. It's really your space, your words, to do as you want. Just let it flow and see where it takes you. I know for me it was a relief and it did help me to cope with the heaviness of it all. But grief is so complex people. Finding ways to stay connected to the ones we've lost can help us heal bit by bit, and thank you for joining me today and letting me share this tidbit with you. I hope you can come back again next Wednesday or next week and take care of yourselves, and I will see you on the next episode. Bye, thank you so much for listening. I want to hear from you. Leave me a comment, do a rating if you can on the podcast, share it with somebody you love, but, most importantly, come back. See you next time. Bye.